Title: What's That, R4?
Author's Note: As I watched R4 and Obi-Wan in EpII, I realized that Obi-Wan never truly reacts to the things R4 says. So does he even understand the little droid? And if not, what is R4 REALLY saying? * * * * * Obi-Wan Kenobi was crouched atop his starship, fiddling with the burnt and broken parts as he adjusted the transmitter. “The transmitter is working,” he announced, “We’re not receiving a return signal. Coruscant’s too far… R4, can you boost the power?” Obi-Wan did not understand astromech speak whatsoever, but he’d quickly learned vague translations of their bleeps. Positive, negative, afraid, happy… It was rather elementary when you came down to it. R4 bleeped at him, saying, “are you nuts?” His head rotated from side to side, telling Obi-Wan this was a negative response. “We’ll have to try something else…” Obi-Wan muttered. “Dur-hey,” was R4’s response to this. Obi-Wan climbed into the cockpit of his starfighter, his brow furrowed as he messed with his controls. “Maybe we can contact Anakin on Naboo. It’s much closer.” R4 groaned, but the noise sounded like only a pleasant squeak to Obi-Wan’s ears. “Anakin? Anakin, do you copy? This is Obi-Wan Kenobi. Anakin?” He paused when there was no response. “He’s not on Naboo, R4.” R4 whirled his dome so that his blinking eye was facing the Jedi. “Are you really surprised? That kid doesn’t listen to a thing you say.” “I’m going to try and widen the range,” Obi-Wan said, as though R4 had said nothing at all. “I just hope nothing’s happened to him.” If R4 could have rolled his eye, he would have. That kid was a pill if there ever was one… “That’s Anakin’s tracking signal, all right,” Obi-Wan said as another planet came across his screen. “But it’s coming from Tatooine. What the blazes is he doing there?” He leapt out of his starfighter again. “I told him to stay on Naboo.” “Well, he is only the most annoying Jedi I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting,” R4 huffed. “We haven’t much time.” Obi-Wan looked about himself, then faced R4’s recording eye. “Anakin, do you copy? This is Obi-Wan Kenobi.” Obi-Wan’s speech about the army and separatists seemed to go on for centuries, to the point that R4 feared might doze off. Then, out of nowhere, droidekas appeared and began firing on the Jedi. “Finally, some action!” R4 blared. “If I weren’t stuck in this thing, I’d go R2 on your asses!” As Obi-Wan was apprehended and taken away, R4 sat quietly humming to himself, realizing now that he was nothing without his pilot. Longwinded though he may be. “Well, this stinks… I just hope I don’t end up as that annoying kid’s ship when this is all said and done…” The End
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