Title: Tipsy Wipsy
Author's Note: This story is rated PG-13 for adult dialogue and tame situations. Just so you know. Also, I actually have personal aversions to drinking in real life, so don't get any ideas about me from this story. It is simply a work of fiction. :) Also, if you like this story, be sure to read it companion piece: Drunky Hunky. *****
“You knocked me out
Jade cackled loudly as Obi-Wan dragged her into the sitting room. “Stop flailing,” he nearly demanded, grunting as he dropped her on the sofa. Jade laughed even harder at this and promptly rolled off of the sofa and onto the floor. “Oh!” she spouted as she landed on her shoulder. She rolled onto her back and commenced laughing. “Jade,” Obi-Wan scolded, propping her limp body against the front of the sofa. She snorted and looked around, furrowing her brow at her surroundings. “This isn’t my house,” she muttered. “No, it isn’t,” Obi-Wan said. “I didn’t want your master to see you like this, so I brought you back to mine and Qui-Gon’s quarters.” “Oh, Qui-Qui!” she called out, struggling to bring herself to her feet and failing. “He’s not here,” Obi-Wan said. “Thank the Force. He’s on a mission.” He winced, placing a hand near the small of his back, and lowered himself gingerly into a chair near her. “Wuzzu matter?” she asked. “You kicked me in my blasted back,” he said. “Or have you forgotten already?” “Hey, those men dared me that I couldn’t do a roundhouse kick,” she slurred. “I proved them wrong.” “Well, your aim was a bit off, I’d say,” Obi-Wan grumbled. “So much for kicking a bottle off the table, eh?” “My, you’re grumpy tonight,” she said with boredom. “Not like you haven’t gotten worse injuries than that.” Obi-Wan simply glared at her and sighed long-sufferingly. Jade giggled at him and clambered onto the couch, where she kicked her feet up and let them sway in the air. She became hypnotized by the motion of her feet. “Floating…” she sang softly. “You know, it would do you good to watch what you drink,” Obi-Wan said. “Slurping down whatever is passed to you is not a wise thing to do.” “Is that so?” “Yes,” he said. “It’s quite obvious that the last drink you consumed was intensely powerful. You aren’t handling it well.” “But it was just a lil sip,” she countered. “But the alcohol content was through the roof,” he replied. “You could have died drinking that down the way you did. Thankfully, you are only slobbering drunk.” “I am not,” she argued, raising her voice a bit too high. Obi-Wan shushed her. “There are other Knights and Masters on this hall.” “Well, good for them,” she laughed. “Besides, it’s my twentieth birthday! I’m finally legal to drink. And, well, it was your idea, Master Fancy-Pants.” “I thought we should go out for a couple of drinks,” he said. “I mentioned nothing about getting inebriated.” “I mentioned nothing about inebriation since I’m so dignified and ridiculous with my little braid,” she mocked, imitating him to a frighteningly realistic degree. Obi-Wan laid his head back and rubbed his forehead. “All right,” he said. “You’ve made fun of me. Feel better?” “Awwwwww,” she cooed, rolling over and sitting up rather unsteadily. “I’m sowwy, Obi-Wobi. You know I’m crazy about you.” He opened his eyes and looked at her. He couldn’t help but smile at her as she wobbled a bit. “I know,” he chuckled. “You’re just not yourself.” She laughed slightly and pushed her cloak off. “You are such a sly thing, Obi,” she said. “Pardon?” “Bringing me here and trying to make it sound like you are only trying to help. Acting all exasperated with me and gentle. Just so happens that master dearest is away. I know what you really meant by all this.” “I still don’t follow you,” he said, shaking his head. She began pulling her boots off and letting them hit the floor with loud thunks. “You wanted me alone with you.” Recognition swept over his innocent face, and he shook his head fervently. “No, no. Jade, I have no motive—” “Mm-hm,” she said with apparent disbelief. She unbuckled her belt and laid it aside. She began unwinding the sash that held the folds of her tunic in place and eyed him seductively as she did so. What she wasn’t aware of was that her seductive look was more woozy and drunken. “Jade,” Obi-Wan said, his voice a warning. “I want to play a game,” she said, pushing her tunic from her shoulders. She revealed to him a light pink, lacy bra that made him squirm. Obi-Wan swallowed uneasily. “What kind of game?” “Okay,” she said, leaning forward and giving Obi-Wan a masterful view of her cleavage. “I’m a smuggler, and you are some kind of guard. You have to give me a full body cavity search for weapons and stuff, but what you find is luuuuuuuuuuuuv.” She grinned wickedly, but Obi-Wan grimaced. “That sounds like a rather rude game.” “Okay, okay,” she said. “Starting over.” She squinted and staggered to her feet, unfastening the clasps on her leggings as an afterthought. She grinned as a thought lightbulb buzzed feebly above her head. “Obi, I’m so dirty,” she growled playfully, prowling toward him with slight clumsiness. “I need a bath. And I can’t do it myself. I need a big, strong man to wash all my dirty parts.” Obi-Wan swallowed again, his eyes as wide as they could ever get and their blueness deepening as her shadow passed over him. She stood over him and let her leggings slide past her hips and to the floor. Her panties matched her bra in both style and color. Now that she was closer, Obi-Wan could see that there were tiny, magenta stars on the fabric. “I, uh, don’t think I’m qualified,” he chuckled, then blushed deeply. “Yes, you are,” she said. She stumbled on her pants as she tried to step out of them. She toppled into his arms, bombarding him with the suddenness of her naked skin. “Jade,” Obi-Wan declared, startled and flushed. She hiccupped. “Woopsy-daisy.” She propped herself up and shifted until she was straddling his hips. She took hold of his braid and ran it along her tongue, moaning. “I want you, Obi-Wan,” she said. “I always have.” Obi-Wan felt his heart swelling and wanting to burst, along with other parts. All the nights he’d lain awake longing to hear those words. All the times he had watched her and yearned to pull her into his arms. All the times he’d dreamt of feeling her bare skin against him. But not like this. He pushed her away and stood up from the chair, not caring if his arousal gave itself away. “I can’t do this,” he said. “This isn’t right. You are not in your right mind.” Jade wheeled backwards, waving her arms and landing hard on the sofa. “What?” she asked, her face expressionless and empty. Obi-Wan opened his mouth as if he wanted to add something or respond to her question, but nothing came. His mouth stayed open and empty, like Jade’s face. They remained this way, waiting for someone to move. Jade was first, her face crumbling into hysterical tears. “You hate me,” she sobbed. “You think I’m hideous.” “No!” Obi-Wan said. He dropped to his knees beside the sofa and tried to take her hands, but she yanked them away. “That’s not at all what I think.” “Yes, it is!” “No,” he repeated. “Jade, you are a beautiful, wonderful person.” “That’s the kind of thing you say just to make someone feel better!” she protested. “You don’t mean it. You don’t think I’m sexy.” “On the contrary, I do. I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m… That’s beside the point. Would you really want me to want you only for your body and nothing else?” She seemed dumbfounded. “No,” he answered for her. “Jade, you are sexy. You have a stunning body and a gorgeous face. You are everything I could want in a woman. But my caring for you is deeper than the physical.” Jade belched, and Obi-Wan turned his nose away a moment, dodging the boozy stench. “Illustrated by the fact that I am more than willing to overlook that,” he mumbled. He blinked and turned back to her. “Don’t ever doubt your self-worth. You are everything good and pure and—” “Oh my god,” she muttered, her face still vacant. “Jade?” “Oh force.” She shoved him away, and he landed on his bottom looking very befuddled. Jade jumped up and dashed through the room. Obi-Wan pushed himself to his feet and followed, calling to her questioningly, wondering if it was something he’d said. He heard a loud, coughing ruckus from the bathroom and bolted in that direction. The door was open, and he was too concerned to note privacy at the moment. What he saw upon entering the room made him pause momentarily. Jade was on her knees, bent over his toilet, and retching loudly. With a jolt back into reality, Obi-Wan hurried over and swept her hair into his hands, pulling it from her face. Just as quickly as he had done this, a stream of fluid rushed out of Jade’s mouth and into the stagnant toilet water, splooshing and turning the water several sick shades of putridity. She heaved the last of what must have been a great deal of liquor that had yet to digest and coughed. She lurched forward and expelled yet another rush of vomit, this time more solid than liquid. Obi-Wan wrinkled his nose at the smell and had trouble believing this wasn’t making him sick as well. With one last retch and a tired groan, Jade spat into the toilet and leaned back. Obi-Wan did not hesitate to flush the mess and help her to her feet. She leaned against him, having lost the strength in her body with her supper. “Are you all right?” he asked. “I don’t feel so great,” she muttered. Obi-Wan let go of her for a moment and took off his cloak. He laid it on the counter next to the sink, then took her hips and picked her up to set her on the cloak. “The counter is cold,” he explained. “And you don’t seem to be prepared for those types of conditions.” Jade blushed a bit and watched him as he squirted paste onto a toothbrush. He turned to her with it, and she opened her mouth without a word. He scrubbed her mouth gently, making sure not to reach too far back in her throat with the instrument. He didn’t want to risk her getting sick again. After this was done, he rinsed the toothbrush and filled a glass with water. He brought the glass to her lips and urged her to sip it. She swished the water in her mouth and spat in the sink, letting her head hang a moment. “Jade?” he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Are you feeling sick again?” “No,” she said. “Just incredibly ashamed.” “There’s no reason for that,” he said. “I understand.” “No,” she said. “I’ve made a complete and utter fool of myself. And there was no excuse for it. If I had been more careful tonight, none of this would have happened.” He took her chin in his hand and lifted her face level with his. “Think of it this way,” he said tenderly. “You know better now. You’ll be careful next time. Lesson learned.” She nodded, and he smiled. “I still feel like an idiot,” she sighed. “Don’t,” he said. “It could have just as easily been me.” Jade snickered. “Yeah, right. I have a lot of trouble envisioning a drunk Obi-Wan Kenobi.” “Well, I had trouble envisioning a drunk Jade Blood before tonight,” he laughed. “Maybe I’ll just get my revenge and prove to you—” “No,” she said, laughing. “You will not.” “But you were challenging me.” “No, I wasn’t. You get those thoughts out of your head this instant.” He laughed softly at her, and they shared a long stare. “You sound like your head is clearing,” he commented, breaking the silence. “I think I threw up most of the alcohol,” she said. “But I still feel tipsy.” “Let’s get you into bed, then,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. Jade sank against him, feeling her head rush. He carried her to the bed with her legs wrapped firmly around his waist and her head against his shoulder. He laid her on her back in his bed and helped her scoot toward the pillows. He pulled the covers back for her and let her snuggle under them. He tucked her in, and she watched this affectionate man with wonder, then with sudden embarrassment. “The stuff I said earlier,” Jade said. “I was…” “Not yourself,” Obi-Wan whispered. “It’s all right.” “No,” she said. “I was just feeling uninhibited. If not a bit crude. I didn’t mean for all that to come out the way it did.” Obi-Wan nodded and sat on the edge of the bed beside her. “I’ll be sleeping on the sofa,” he said. Jade felt her eyes tear up but fought the urge to simply let them drip from her lashes. “Thank you for letting me stay here tonight,” she said. “My master would have had a fit if she’d seen me like this. Of course, I have no idea what I’ll tell her tomorrow.” “Just tell her the truth: you got sick.” Jade smiled. “Like I said, ‘such a sly thing.’” Obi-Wan grinned and looked down at the bed. “I suppose I am.” He looked back up at her and seemed to get lost there, then he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Jade took advantage of the contact and touched his face, running her hands from his cheeks to his hair. She let her fingers swim in the fields of red hair and sighed. Obi-Wan broke the kiss, sitting back. “I’ll let you sleep,” he said. “Goodnight.” “Goodnight,” Jade replied. She wanted to call for him to lay down with her. She wanted to lay back and hold her arms out to him. She wanted to get up and run to him. Instead, she watched him walk out the door and said nothing. She rolled over and silently hoped that she wouldn’t leave any tear stains on his pillow. If she did, he’d know. And she didn’t want that… did she? The End
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