Title: The Talk
Author's Note: Slightly adult talk, but it's actually very tame. You have been warned, though. ;) * * * * * Obi-Wan Kenobi sat with his legs folded beneath him, lost within the Force even as he concentrated so stalwartly. He could feel his apprentice's broiling mind as he sat beside him, and finally Obi-Wan cracked one eye open to regard Anakin's furrowed brow. "Is there something wrong, Padawan?" Obi-Wan asked softly. "I was just thinking..." Anakin replied. "Where did I come from?" "Why, you know where," Obi-Wan chuckled nervously. "Tatooine." "I mean before that. Like how did I get to be a baby." "Oh," Obi-Wan grumbled. "Oh my. Well... I suppose we've needed to have this talk." The master cleared his throat and regarded Anakin carefully. "Where... would you like me to begin?" "At the beginning, Master," Anakin said with a quirked brow. "A fitting place to start," Obi-Wan sighed. "You see... When two beings love one another..." "Like you and me, Master Kenobi?" "No!" Obi-Wan shouted with surprise. "No... Not quite like that. You and I could never do this. We're brothers, and it's not right for brothers to do such things." "But we're not really brothers, are we?" "No... Not physically. But we are here." Obi-Wan emphasized his words by gesturing to his heart. "This act is more for beings who love each other on a different level. Intimately." He searched for a moment before adding, "like a husband and wife." "Oh, you mean like me and Padme." Obi-Wan snickered at this. "If you like. Of course, you're both too young to do anything of the sort, but it's only an analogy." Anakin just nodded, thinking to himself. "Males and females have a particular attraction to one another that leads to... creating more humans," Obi-Wan said vaguely. "There is a certain... protrusion..." "Like my finger," Anakin said, pointing in his master's face. Obi-Wan leaned away, then pushed Anakin's hand back down. "A bit lower." "Toes?" "No... Somewhere between fingers and toes." Anakin looked at his master skeptically. "You mean my penis?" Obi-Wan instantly turned Sith-saber red. "Yes, that." "Why didn't you just say so? We had some basic anatomy in one of my classes." "Well... as I was saying... Your... penis corresponds with a female part. The... female part." "Women have penises, too?" Anakin asked. "No, Anakin, they have..." Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "They have vaginas." He said this as though it were unfortunate, when the only unfortunate part was his own shame. "Oh," said Anakin. "But how do these things make babies?" "The penis... well, the vagina... the penis goes into the..." Obi-Wan sighed and shut his eyes, pulling the Force about him for strength. After a few moments he quickly spat, "the penis is inserted within the vagina where the male fertilizes the female and creates a youngling. There." Anakin paused, trying to piece together the very quick sentence that Obi-Wan made him. "So the woman is fertilized every time they do this?" "Not every time," Obi-Wan admitted. "Sometimes they use precautions to ensure they won't have younglings." "Why would they do that?" "Not all beings want children," he said gently. "Then why would they do that?" Anakin asked. "It sounds like it hurts." "There's more to the act than simple reproduction," Obi-Wan said. "And... it's not usually painful. For the male, at least." "You mean it's painful for the woman?" Anakin asked with a scared look in his eyes. "The first time can be," he said. "But... it is an act performed out of love. And... there is... pleasure." He looked away, rubbing his beard to hide his bright red cheeks. "Okay," Anakin said. He stopped for a moment. "You said that the penis fertilizes the vagina. How does that work?" "Inside every female, there are eggs," Obi-Wan began. "And within the male, there are sperm. The sperm travels from the male to the female via this physical connection and penetrates the female's egg. The child created by this combination grows in the mother's womb for nine standard months until she gives birth. And that is how you are here." Obi-Wan gave him a heartwarming smile, hoping the final point had come across and his padawan was satisfied with the answers he'd been given. Really, he was very proud of himself for avoiding anything about ejaculations. Anakin thought for a while as all this sank in. Then he asked, "my mother did that?" Dare he reveal that his mother may have immaculately conceived him? Which was worse: knowing his mother had engaged in sex with a male or knowing that he was nothing like the other younglings? "At least once in all likelihood," Obi-Wan said delicately. It was true that she could have done such a thing without having Anakin nine months later. It all depended on your point of view... "You mean that my mother let a man pee in her vagina?" asked Anakin incredulously. "Oh, Anakin!" Obi-Wan said, covering his mouth. "Oh no. Anakin, no." "But you said that what comes out of the penis goes into the vagina and fertilizes her. But pee comes out of my penis." "Padawan, it's not the same," he said, shaking his head. "When a man and woman join together, the man is not... peeing on her. Oh my word..." He had to pause a moment to wash away the visions of his encounters with Jade having a new, much more disgusting twist. "The man... fills her with sperm found in his... semen." "Where does the semen come from?" "The penis." "But pee comes out of the penis. We've already been over this, Master Kenobi." "Semen does, too." "But how!?" Anakin whined. "When the male... ejaculates inside the female." Obi-Wan threaded his fingers together and searched for more peace in the Force, which was quite elusive. "What does 'ejaculates' mean?" Anakin asked. Obi-Wan rested his face in his hands. "Anakin, this is very hard for me. Difficult. I meant difficult." Anakin grew quiet. But only for a moment. "I'm sorry, master. Maybe I should have asked someone else, who knew more." "I know plenty," Obi-Wan snarled, looking back up at him. "What exactly are you trying to imply? Did one of your friends put you up to this? Did Jade?" "N-n-no, Master. You just said that is was difficult, so I thought that maybe you didn't know about it." "Anakin, I know all about it," Obi-Wan sighed. "But... Fine. Push onward, Kenobi... 'Ejaculation' means most literally to throw or shout. But in this sense, it is when a male releases semen from his penis." "Oh, okay. How do you ejaculate?" "How do I?" Obi-Wan asked, eyebrows shooting up his forehead. "Oh, you mean how does one... Oh. Well, the penis grows... hard and the friction of being inside the female makes it... ejaculate." "Is that all?" "I suppose it is," Obi-Wan said, looking lost for a moment. He could hardly believe it was over and done. He'd gone through the entire "talk" with very few breakdowns. And Jade said he was a prude... "The ejaculation... Is that the pleasure you were talking about?" Obi-Wan closed his eyes. He should have known better. "It is." "Does the woman ejaculate, too?" "She has her own... form of pleasure." "How?" "Women... are a mystery, Padawan." "Oh. Maybe I should ask Master Jade." "No!" Obi-Wan ordered. "No. You will not. She... is very busy." "Not all the time, and you know... Jedis are supposed to learn things and solve mysteries. Maybe you could come with me and learn, too." "Anakin," Obi-Wan sighed long-sufferingly. "Master Jade... She's... All right, here is how it happens to the best of my knowledge. The female has a small... nub. A clitoris. When it is... stimulated, she... feels pleasure." "Oh, okay." He paused. "And the clitoris is inside the vagina?" "Most men seems to think so," Obi-Wan laughed. "No, no. It's actually on the outside of the opening where the penis is inserted." "Then how does it get stimulated? If the penis goes inside, and the clitoris is outside..." Anakin fell silent, pondering on this. "Friction, Padawan," Obi-Wan said. "In order to... ejaculate and move toward the pleasure, the two must move against each other to be properly stimulated." Obi-Wan rubbed his face wearily. "There is a lot of movement involved on both sides. Are we very done?" "I think so, Master." Anakin closed his eyes and slid into an easy meditation. Obi-Wan watched him. I'll not be having sex for weeks after this... He turned back to his own meditation, but instead of relaxing within the Force, he simply stared at the wall. Having fun? Jade asked within his mind. You were listening to that, weren't you? You did admirably, Master Kenobi. But Anakin may have had something on that female orgasm. Wanna conduct a little more study? When you have a padawan and are struggling to explain erections, I will laugh at you. I will point and laugh without remorse. I'll never have that problem. It only happens to guys. Obi-Wan felt Jade nudge him, then snickered gently. "Naughty Kitten..." The End
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