Chapter Thirteen

As the twin suns rose over Tatooine they gave a off a blood red glow.

Ayani sat atop a sand dune just out side of town, her knees pulled up to her chest as she watched the sunrise. Her mind had been pounded all night by images from her past, from the best memories to her absolute worst. She couldn't close her eyes for one minute without another painful memory jammed into her mind. She had finally given up all hope of sleep and wandered out of her ship and out of the city in the middle of the night. She had found a dune and made herself comfortable and had been there for many hours now.

Ayani's brain was a jumble of thoughts, all whirling around at the speed of light inside of her, but two of them stood out the most. The first was how she had turned out, what her life had become, who she had become. Her destiny had been decided before she was seven years old, and she had lived in the world of pain and suffering all her life. The other was how much she really cared for Seven... for her Feroz... her Lucky Seven. He was like a bright spot amongst an ocean of black. He had been the first person to truly love her. To love her for who she was, all of her. To put aside her horrible past and try to focus on a better future, to try and help her get through, to turn. To stand by her no matter what she did, and to slap her in the face when she did something stupid. But she had pushed him away, far away, unable to accept the fact that someone could actually love her. The fact that she could actually love someone in turn.

She stood up, brushing the sand from her tan pants and walking slowly back towards her ship. She ignored the people around her as she shuffled through the crowded streets. She had always followed a path of darkness, a path of destruction and pain. She had been trained to not think about what she was doing, the pain she was causing, but to focus on getting the task at hand done. Now she had a reason to change, a reason to live a better life, to work on putting her past behind her, but she couldn't do it.

But why can't I? she thought as she stepped up the ramp into her ship. Why can't I put it behind me and move on?

Because you are involved with the Empire now, Ayani. The voice drifted through her mind again. It had become such a common occurrence that Ayani had just accepted it as a second part of her.

"But I could leave the Empire, get away from them," Ayani reasoned, closing the ramp behind her.

You know far well that you cannot leave the Empire whenever you want to. The only way you get out of the Empire is by being dead, and you certainly are not dead.

"I could run from them. People run from the Empire all the time. I am sure Feroz would come with me."

Ayani, you also know that you can't run from the Empire. They send people after you to kill you. You are one of those people; you just killed a man yesterday for running from the Empire.

Ayani let out a sharp breath as the scene from yesterdays shooting replayed in her mind.

You and Feroz would never have a moments peace. You would always be looking over your shoulder, wondering when the next assassin would jump out.

"I can fight well enough. There isn't anyone else in the Empire good enough to take me down, not even Vader could."

Perhaps... but what about Feroz? He doesn't have the Force, and it is very hard to protect both yourself and him. What if Vader did come after you? Feroz may be a soldier, but he hasn't the skill to fight off a Sith. You would be putting his life in danger. What if he was killed? What would you do? It would be your fault.

"I have enough strength to keep both of us safe," Ayani growled with determination.

You would have to revert to the Dark Side, and even then it isn't guaranteed that you would be able to keep both of you safe. Feroz hates the Dark Side, he wouldn't like you using it, even if it was for his own welfare.

Ayani sunk into the sofa, her head hanging down.

You both would be running for the rest of your lives. What kind of life is that you ask someone to take on? Someone who has only loved you, only cared for you?

"It's not a life at all..."

No, it's not.

"But what then? I can't keep living this life, can I? Feroz and I can't be together if I keep living like this. But if I try and run, try to change, I still can't have him... My life follows me no matter where I go… My past will always haunt me."

Ayani's eyes snapped shut as another memory filled her mind. She was standing in the cave with Seven, she was in his arms, her head on his chest as he stroked her hair lovingly.

"You can't change what you are." His words rolled softly into her mind as if he was standing right next to her, speaking them again.

She slowly opened her eyes, feeling the truth and love in his words. You couldn't change what you were... She couldn't change what she was. She was a killer; she was an assassin; she was a bounty hunter.... She was death.

* * * * *

Seven sat atop the crest of a large dune, both legs folded beneath him. To someone unobservant enough to think him a Jedi, he could have been meditating. Truthfully, he was deep in thought, but it was nothing so existential that it could be construed as meditation. In fact, who he had on his mind was the most un-Jedi-like individual he’d had the honor of knowing.

Part of him wondered if Ayani was watching the same sunrise and having similar attacks of conscience. He kept playing their last conversation over in his mind. The way she struggled with him outwardly and something else inwardly. He’d seen clearly that she was fighting two battles simultaneously and losing both, yet he’d pushed forward. What had made him act so coldly? Maybe he really had been hanging around Ayani too long…

“No, that’s unfair,” he muttered, gently shaking his head.

Seven was not the kind to shift blame, so he wouldn’t start now. In truth, Ayani had showed him that there was a Dark Side in everyone, regardless of the Force or Jedi training or midichlorians. And he was no exception. Neither was General Kenobi or his beloved Captain.

His thoughts went out to Jade. Like a blur, he saw dozens of missions they’d successfully completed, and with them all the moments where it had seemed that one of them (or even both) would surely bite the big one. All those times when hope had run out and one of them pulled the unexpected trick out of their sleeve. He used to think they were invincible. There was no enemy big enough, no assignment difficult enough. That wasn’t true anymore, if it had been at all true in the first place.

Ayani had come between them. And not in the way he’d expected. Maybe he’d thought Ayani would kill Jade or himself and separate them that way. But with love? Never. And yet, here he was, pondering it in the middle of nowhere. Realizing he loved them both too profoundly to choose. Jade, his sister in every way that mattered. Ayani, his lover and the woman he wanted to make his wife.

“But you did choose,” he whispered. “You’ve chosen neither of them… You chose yourself.”

With a shuddery sigh that threatened a sob, Seven rested his face in his hands, the twin suns now high enough that they were beating down on him. Somehow, he’d fix it. Somehow…

* * * * *

It was near noon as Ayani stepped out of the shower, hot steam following her as she made her way back into her room. She dropped her towel on the floor as she grabbed a deep red dress and pulled it on. Ayani sat down on the edge of her bed, a hair brush in her hand. As she sat down she felt a lump under her, and she stood up and pulled the covers aside. She picked up a pair of Seven's pants and stared at them for a moment before hugging them close to her. Something felt hard against her, and she dug into one of the pockets to find the heart-shaped stone with an “S” in the center of it.

"He carried it around with him..." she muttered.

Of course he did, Ayani. He's in love, and that is the closest thing to your heart you have given him.

Ayani grasped the stone tenderly in her hands as she walked out of her room and to a cabinet in her ship. She pulled out a small drill and put the tip at the top of the stone. She drilled a small hole through it and pulled out a chain from the cabinet and slid it through the hole, attaching both ends. Ayani placed the newly made necklace over her head. It hung down next to her heart, and she placed her hand over it.

Why do you torment yourself, Ayani? Why do you dwell on these thoughts of love and happiness with Seven when you know that you can never have them?

"Were you not the one telling me to change? Telling to me to give Seven a chance, to love and be loved in return?"

Before you killed the girl, yes. Before you pushed Seven away, yes. But now you know there is no hope for happiness. What is a life without love? You have lived one all your life, Ayani, my dear. There is only one solution to this struggle you are in. Only one way to end it. The voice faded from her mind, and Ayani shook her head.

"A life without Feroz is no life... A life running from the Empire is destined to end in death... What I am doing now is not a life at all..." Ayani whispered. "I have to end this...."

Ayani walked over to a large drawer in her kitchen, and she pulled out the vile of poison she had bought many weeks ago. She held it up, looking at the deep black liquid inside, and tilted her head.

How do I get this into the Kenobis....? she thought.

* * * * *

“And you’re sure you’re well enough?” Jade asked once again as she slipped her boots on.

The boots were the final piece of the Jedi garb she was donning for their trip. As soon as they were on, she and her husband would be out the door. Off to face Ayani a final time for the second time since she’d come into their lives. An eerie déjà vu had enveloped them, but they didn’t dare speak of it.

“I’m positive,” Obi-Wan said calmly. He was seated upon their bed, meditating to the best of his ability under the circumstances.

“Only fools are positive,” Jade told him bitterly.

He opened one eye. “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive,” she giggled. “And I’m also ready to go.”

She nervously toyed with the blaster at her hip, having given Obi-Wan his weapon back. She cursed having ditched her saber in the desert. Fit of anger or not, she should never have done that. She whirled toward Nova’s crib and lifted the small, still-snoozing child into her arms. Placing a gentle, heartfelt kiss against soft, blond hair, Jade carried their baby to the speeder as Obi-Wan followed quietly behind. Once Nova was secure, Obi-Wan brought the speeder to life and shot across the sand.

“I know you despise doing this a second time,” Jade said gently.

“You mean…?” He paused, waiting for her to finish for him.

“Going to Lars,” she clarified. “Asking for his assistance.”

“I don’t intend to speak to Owen,” Obi-Wan said curtly.

“Listen.” She placed a claming hand on his shoulder and slid it teasingly toward his neck, tickling his beard with her finger. “Perhaps the situation would go more smoothly if you let me talk with Beru. You stay in the speeder, Owen stays in the homestead, and everyone is happy. The last thing we need right now is another verbal brawl. Not now.”

Obi-Wan nodded, tilting his head to rub his cheek against her hand. Jade leaned into him, burrowing into his side as they sped onward. Upon arriving, Jade pulled a fussy and semi-awake Nova from the speeder and moved cautiously toward the homestead. The door opened, and Jade could hear Beru’s voice, but the tone was so unlike her. Harsh and scolding. When a short, heated tirade ended, Beru poked her head out into the open.

“I’m sorry if I’ve come at a bad time,” Jade apologized at once.

“No,” Beru said, shaking her head vigorously, looking very nervous. “It’s never a bad time.”

“Owen is not… angry, is he?” Jade asked, surprised at how timid she sounded.

“Owen will learn to live with the hand fate has dealt him,” Beru said, crossing her arms with a stubborn expression. “That’s all I’ll say.”

Jade felt her mouth tipping up in a grin. This woman was surely tough skinned and not easily deterred. It was good knowing she was on their side.

“Beru, I need you to watch Nova for me, if you would please be so kind,” Jade said gently. She extended the wriggling child toward Beru, who took her willingly.

“Of course, Jade,” Beru said, rocking Nova as she whined. “For how long?”

Jade was quiet for a very long beat. “Until Obi-Wan and I return.”

“But when will that be?” Beru asked softly.

Jade swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m not even certain that… we will be returning.”

Beru blinked, and her ministrations with Nova slowed. “Then… Luke will have a sister.”

Jade’s face crumbled, and she looked down as she nodded. She leaned forward to kiss Nova one last time, then turned swiftly away.

“Jade!” Beru called as Nova’s cries grew in volume. “May the Force be with you!”

Jade hurried to the speeder where Obi-Wan waited, plopping into the passenger seat and hiding her face in her palms. Obi-Wan immediately embraced her, pressing his lips to her temple.

“Jadey…” He’d not called her that in ages, it seemed. “Darling, it will be all right.”

“There’s no knowing that,” she sobbed. “There’s no promising it.”

“We will see Nova again,” he said. “And I do promise.”

“But you can’t…” Even while she said this, she was calming.

“And yet you still believe me,” he said, kissing her face as he nuzzled her hands away.

“Yes,” she said. “Because you’re always right.”

Obi-Wan chuckled and brushed her tears away with his thumbs. “Strength, love. Strength within our love.”

“Yes,” she agreed, sniffling. “I’m… ready. Really ready this time.”

Obi-Wan nodded, watching her for another moment. Memorizing the look on her face, the beauty in every angle and line. Then, he turned to the speeder’s controls, and they flew toward Ayani. Toward the end.

* * * * *

Ayani's fingers made tapping sounds on the table before her as she thought, her eyes boring into the bottle in front of her.

You have to do it, Ayani. You know it's the only way. The only way to end all of this.

"I can't do it... Feroz..." Ayani muttered.

Do it for Feroz, for your Lucky Seven. It is for him. It will release him, set him free of the pain and torment you've caused him.

"But... we won’t be able to be together then..."

You can't be together now. You must give him the freedom, Ayani.

"I can't do that to him... I can't..." Ayani clenched her teeth. Tears threatened to fall down her cheeks, something that had not happened since she was a little girl.

If you love him, and I know you do, you will let him go. You will free him of this torture.

Ayani lowered her head as the tears rolled down her cheeks. She did love Seven; she loved him so much that she couldn't bear hurting him any longer. Huge sobs wracked her body, and she clenched the stone around her neck.

"I am sorry, my sweet Feroz... It is for the best."

* * * * *

Seven sped toward Ayani’s ship, feeling a renewed sense of goodness, like getting his second wind. He would beat on her ramp until she allowed him in, then he would grasp her and kiss her and… He wasn’t quite sure what to do next. But he would make things right. He was determined.

In the distance he saw her ship, and the spaceport she’d docked near past it. There was also a second transport much like his own, kicking up a trail of dust. He shifted his vehicle into the highest gear and blasted toward the ship and the second speeder, hoping he’d get there first.

Slamming to a halt and nearly throwing himself over the windshield and onto the sand, Seven parked the speeder and leapt out. Jade and Obi-Wan leapt out of their own, Jade immediately setting her former trooper with a glare.

“Seven, don’t stand in our way,” she said coldly. “This was inevitable, and you are not protecting us by blocking our path. You’re aiding her.”

“I’m not against you,” he insisted. “I never have been. There is a solution to this that doesn’t involve any of you dying!”

“Then, enlighten us, if you would,” Obi-Wan said calmly.

Seven fidgeted. “There is a way,” he said, pointing a finger at Obi-Wan.

“You just don’t know what it is,” Obi-Wan replied, looking unimpressed.

“Do you really want her to die!?” Seven demanded. “Can you say that without remorse!?”

“Yes,” Jade said. “And you’re wasting our time.”

“Listen to yourself,” Seven said. “Look how sick you’ve become. This isn’t the Captain I was proud to stand beside.”

“If anything has made me sick, it’s your lover,” Jade spat. “I won’t hear this.”

She moved to push past him, but he caught her arm. She, in turn, pulled out her blaster and stuck it beneath his chin.

“Jade…” He was utterly shocked, his dark eyes wide.

“I’m a desperate woman, Seven,” Jade said. “I intend to live my life with my husband and my children, alive and happy. You will not stop me.”

“Jade,” Obi-Wan called to her. He stepped forward and jerked away Jade’s blaster away with one hand and Seven’s grip on her with the other. “Both of you will cease this at once. We didn’t come here to fight Seven. We came here to honorably face Ayani in battle. There is no honor in slaughter.”

Seven rubbed his chin. “But there is in granting me at least one request,” he muttered, still staring with hurt and distrust at Jade. “Let me speak with her alone before you barge in and murder her. That okay?”

“How do we know you won’t help her escape?” Jade asked.

“Did you ever trust me?” he spat bitterly. “Then trust me one, last time.”

Jade exchanged a guilty glance with Obi-Wan, then nodded. “I did trust you, Seven. That’s why this hurts more than I can say… Just go. You have five minutes.”

Seven nodded, then turned toward the ramp of Ayani’s ship. To his surprise, it wasn’t sealed, and he entered easily. There was hardly any light. No sounds or indication of movement. Tentatively, he called her name.

Ayani lifted her head from the table, her cheeks tear stained and her eyes red.

"What are you doing in here, Feroz?" Ayani spoke, but not with the normal harshness her voice usually held. It was a tired voice that now spoke.

“I came to apologize,” he said, shocked at the rivers of dried tears on her cheeks. And the fresh ones still pouring. “Love, what’s happened?”

He moved over to her, placing a gentle hand on her cheek and brushing at the tears. Something was deeply wrong.

"Apologize for what?" Ayani asked. "You didn't do anything. I have caused you all the pain. You have never hurt me. You have nothing to be sorry for." As much as Ayani wanted to feel his hand on her face, she pushed it away, standing up, grasping the bottle of poison in her fist where Seven couldn't see it.

“I said many harsh things that… I don’t mean,” he said, straightening to face her. “There is a chance for us. I love you too much to give up now.”

A whole new wave of tears flooded over Ayani.

"Oh Force, Feroz... There is not chance for us... It can never be," she sobbed, turning away from him.

Seven almost gasped when she began sobbing before his very eyes. He stepped up behind her, laying his hands over her shoulders.

“Darling, there is,” he said. “It can. Just trust me. Be with me. Remember when I said I wanted to take you away to a beautiful place? I meant it, and I still do.”

Ayani pulled away from him again, putting as much distance between them.

"We can't go away. I can't leave the Empire, Feroz. I can't... They will hunt us down, and we will never be able to live in one spot. We will always be running; we will always have to look over our shoulders."

“I’m willing to take that risk,” he said. “If it means being with you, I will do it.”

"It's not the life you deserve...What if you were killed? What would I do? It would be my fault you died..." She shook her head slowly and turned to face him, her blue eyes locking with his. "A wise man once told me that you can't change who you are. And this is who I am... I am evil."

Hearing his own words echoing back through the years in Ayani’s voice was like a knife through his heart.

“I never meant that you… Ayani, people do change. You’ve changed!” His eyes were filling with tears, and he shut them for a long moment. “I don’t mean to shout. I just… love you.” He opened his eyes to gaze at her again. “You’re not the heartless assassin I knew. You’re different. Better.”

"Not heartless? By the Force, Feroz, I killed a little girl in cold blood… I've murdered so many... some just to kill them for the hell of it. I have no heart!" she half-shouted as she struggled to end her tears.

“Time’s up, Seven,” Jade said softly from the ship’s entrance.

“No, there’s still time,” Seven said stalwartly.

“I’m afraid not,” Obi-Wan said. “Ayani, we’ve come to end this in the only way you seem to find acceptable.” He drew out his lightsaber, the blue blade bursting to life in the darkness.

Ayani looked from Seven to the two Jedi that had entered. She took a few steps backwards but didn't reach for her weapon. She lifted her hand and brought the bottle in her hand into view. Seven recognized that bottle, he had seen it before.

Ayani pulled the cork out of the bottle as she turned back to Seven, her eyes boring into his. She brought the bottle to her lips, her hand shaking as she threw her head back and drank the entire bottle of black poison.

Immediately her body began to shudder and shake as she gasped, the bottle falling to the floor and shattering as she dropped to her knees, coughing up blood. Pain shot through her entire being. It felt as though she was being burned from the inside out. She fell onto her back and let out a shriek of pain.

“AYANI!” Seven had never felt anything shoot from his lungs with such power. He dropped down in front of her and pulled her into his lap as she writhed and fought her own excruciating screams.

Obi-Wan’s eyes widened, his thumb subconsciously pressing the button on his saber so that the blade disappeared again. Both Jedi winced, feeling that Ayani had ceased to suppress her Force signature any longer. It slammed into both of them, and they were made well aware of the full extent of her power. And her pain.

“It’s a trick…” Jade snarled. She looked as though she was about to step forward, but Obi-Wan stopped her.

“I don’t believe it is,” he said, shuddering slightly. “I’m certain this is real…”

“Ayani!” Seven shouted again, holding her against him, feeling her skin tremble with distress. “Why would you do that!?”

"It's the only way you can be free," Ayani managed to force out before she let out another gasp of pain. "I've hurt you far too much... All you've ever done is.." Ayani was cut off as a fresh new wave of pain shot her though her, moving from her stomach up to her face and into her head. "...love me.." she half-screamed.

“And I do love you,” Seven sobbed, his tears coming more freely than they ever had. “I’ll never be free of that…” His chin trembled as he stroked her hair and watched her suffer. “Don’t die… Not again.”

"We could never live in peace together... ever..." Ayani choked, closing her eyes for a moment as she tried to suppress the pain. "You'll be free of the pain I've caused you. You will be able to live the life you deserve."

She tilted her head to look at Seven. She brought her shaky hand up to his face and placed it on his cheek. "My Lucky Seven..." she said softly. "I love you."

Her hand slowly fell from his face as her head rolled back. With one last violent convulsion her body went lip, all the life draining out of it as the Force let her go. As her soul was freed.

Seven held her limp form, staring glassily at her equally glassy eyes. Her beautiful, blue eyes. He bent down to her, burying his face in her hair, clinging though all life within her was gone. The most heart-wrenching scream escaped him, and both the Jedi behind him twitched upon hearing it. He stayed this way for several moments, howling loud enough for her soul to hear.

His hand went to her shoulder and wandered across her neck. He felt a chain there and gained his composure just enough to lean back and gaze at it. The stone heart with his initial was hanging from her neck by a thin chain. Sniffling like a small child, he pulled the necklace free of her neck and slipped it over his own. Then, lips still trembling, he bent and kissed her mouth.

From the entrance, Jade and Obi-Wan watched him, feeling like unwelcome voyeurs yet unable to turn away. Unable to shake what they had both just felt. There was no mistaking it this time. Clearly, her spirit was gone and her Force signature vacant. She would not crawl out of a cave to haunt them again. She was dead.

Obi-Wan stepped over to Seven, who didn’t seem to notice or acknowledge his presence. He crouched beside the clone, his head bowed over Ayani’s body.

“You should give her a proper burial,” Obi-Wan said. “Being put to rest by someone she loved will give her spirit peace.”

Seven slowly turned his face to Obi-Wan, then nodded just as slowly. “But not here.”

“Choose a place you love,” Obi-Wan agreed. “Somewhere she would have loved.”

Seven bit his bottom lip and turned from him again. He pushed himself to his feet and moved toward the ramp to exit. Jade was in his path, and he had half a mind to brush past her as though not seeing her at all. Instead, he stood before her and waited patiently for her to move aside.

“I feel like I should say something,” Jade whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

“You hated her,” Seven grunted. “There’s nothing else to say.”

“I didn’t hate her,” Jade said, looking down at her hands as she fiddled with them. “I hated what she did. I hated that I couldn’t stop her from hurting us and that she was so… envious.” She looked up at him. “I hate what Dooku made her. I hate that she had potential, and the Empire exploited it. I hate that there was no chance, and that she left us no choice…” Jade tried to keep her tears from spilling and her tranquility from crashing all around her, but she couldn’t. “But you loved her, and she did love you. And I love you, Seven.”

They embraced, both sobbing against one another. If nothing else, Jade was now convinced of the glimmer of hope Seven had seen. She knew now that he had not simply placed his hope in nothing, and that alone was a balm to his broken heart.

“Love you, too, Captain,” he said, his voice breaking. “But I gotta go.”

“I know,” she sniffled, pulling back from him. “And I bet we won’t see you again…”

“You never know,” he said, wiping at his eyes and attempting a smile. “There’s a lot of guys like me around. Several thousand, in fact. I mean, I am a clone.”

“You’re one in a million,” Jade whimpered.

Seven kissed her cheek, and Obi-Wan stepped up next to her. When Seven broke away, Obi-Wan led Jade out of the ship. The ramp hissed shut, and the two Jedi watched the ship blow steam and roar to life.

“He’s leaving us for good,” Jade sighed.

“He’s following his own path,” he said. “Something he should have done from the start.” He smiled at her. “You raised him in a sense…”

“And I’m saying my last goodbye,” she said, her throat tight. “It just hurts.”

“You will see each other again,” he said. “No two people are kept apart forever. Just as he will see Ayani again.”

Jade smiled warmly at him, feeling his love and gentle reasoning healing her already. “Let’s go get Nova.”

“Of course, love.”

They climbed into their speeder, setting off into the midday. Back toward a home they could be once more secure in, and yet their emotions on this were extremely mixed. Even victorious, there would be no celebration.

* * * * *

Seven had no doubts about the ship’s codes now, having discovered Ayani’s name for him as the password. Using this to gain access to the ship, he lifted off of the sand and blasted through the atmosphere and into hyperspace.

“I have a special place for us, love,” he said to the stars. “I think you’ll find peace there…”

Epilogue

Back